Mothers Day Without My Mom

Mothers Day…

That great happy amazing day to get to celebrate the life and love between you and the greatest person in your life you’re mom.

Your mom if she was anything like mine was  given up everything for you. She’s made countless sacrifices and loved you unconditionally no matter what. Of course there should be a day to celebrate her.

Well unfortunately for those of us who have lost a mother, this day still exists, and is no longer a day to be happy, excited and celebrate. This is actually one of the most dreaded days of the year for us. I know for me it is.

(con’t)

Mother’s Day comes around and it’s just so awkward figuring out how to spend the day. Just because my mom isn’t here .

My daughter and granddaughter live states away.

So I now just spend it reading. Maybe a walk in the park.  I’ll have lunch at the cemetery.  Just another day.

It’s okay to need to be alone

This day never seems to get easier

I am going on my 18^th Mother’s Day without my mom and it is still the most dreaded day of the year for me.

When my mom died, so many people told me that ‘the holidays are the hardest,’ but because I interacted with my mom on a daily basis, multiple phone calls a day she lived close to me and  I saw her daily , it was the every days that were the hardest for me !

I try to find little ways to honor her every day but for Mother’s Day, I will take a flower to her grave or just go and sit and have lunch near her. I may buy someone behind me a coffee etc…

Its still to cold to plant flowers at the cemetery and the cemetery frowns on artificial this time of year.

Not having my own mother on Mother’s Day  is painful the same with father’s day because my father has been gone almost 30 years  just makes me aware of how short and precious time is.

I hope everyone that has a mom living has a great day tomorrow and if you’re dealing with mother’s day without your mom I understand.

If you do have a mom that’s living I hope you enjoy her because there will be that day when you would give anything to talk to her one more time