So as you know if you read my blog I have had over a decade of ups and downs with my hypothyroidism and i finally insisted on a test for Hashimoto Disease a few months ago.
It was positive so all this time I had autoimmune issues and no one listened to me in the medical field.
I had to insist on the test or told them they would be fired.
But I also felt this odd feeling as if someone had their thumb on my throat.
So my Endocrinologist did do an ultrasound of thyroid no enlargement or nodules Thank God.
He suggested I see an ENT
( ear, nose and throat)
Being sick of going to doctor after doctors for bones, for thyroid, then pcp, I put it off a month or 3 and finally I called an made an appointment.
16 August 2018 was my appointment
Well it was a hell of a visit.
He is a great guy this ENT Doctor.
Got the scope through the nose and down the throat.
First I found out I had some reflux happening that I didn’t know I had. Which could be causing that feeling in my throat.
So I’m told he’ll write me a rx for Zantac at night and Prilosec in the morning.🙄
Oh yea ….. another 2 pills to take along with the other 3.
I hate pills
The more I try to get off of them the more I end up with.
At least for now anyway.
But most importantly I was also told that he felt he needed to do a biopsy on my nasopharyngeal area asap.
He found a mass and it needed checked out ASAP
I don’t need this nor want to deal with anything else right now I thought.
Because my bones are killing me right now.
So he pointed out where was the area of concern, and I agree it needs looked into.
Of course he asked was I a smoker
No …… but a former smoker for 40 years.
He explained that I have a fairly large mass and they need to check it out to rule out cancer…..
Check for Cancer that’s what I heard. And I am not sure if I heard anything else.
So I said well let’s do this and get one scheduled . I was scheduled for biopsy 23 August 2018 .
I went home what a long drive home it felt twice as long , so because I am a patient advocate and leader I had to do my research and everything I found about nasopharyngeal masses were about malignant cancer . Nothing about benign which scared me to death.
So right then I stopped and I prayed.
I asked God to please make this benign or a mistake. I knew he could determine my outcome and I refused to worry about it anymore .
I am going to be running toward the potential problem head on with God by my side. I am going to be like David and Goliath.
The Mass is My Goliath
I prayed to God and I gave it to him. I am trusting God will heal it or allow me to deal with what ever it is with grace and peace.
I refused to worry about something that I didn’t know the outcome.
And I wasn’t going to let a biopsy ruin the next 2-3 weeks of my life because I was told I would have to wait on pathology and then see my doctor.
So I vowed to God I would give to give it to him and let it go.
23 August 2018
I had my biopsy and the worst part was the tube in my throat to assist in breathing, after the removal it felt like someone poured gasoline in my throat. And it remained like that for almost 2 weeks.
After the biopsy the hospital told me I would see my ENT Doctor In a couple weeks to go over the results.
2 -3 weeks
Ok Still allowing God to be in control and not to worry.
My husband and I drive home and god bless him he looks more nervous than I feel.
We talked and I told him that what ever the outcome, it will be ok.
But let’s not stress over something that we don’t know about and let’s go about our lives.
I was always good under pressure.
But I am tired , I am tired of the struggle that seems to be something new every day.
Thank God I have my faith.
That keeps me grounded and at peace and even in times of struggle and pain I know God will never leave me.
But I won’t lie , I was hoping the results come in quick not in 2 weeks and I hope I can stay calm and not freak out waiting for the results.
Ya know I have always felt if it’s my time to go ok, of course I don’t want to go anywhere , I have things I want to do and places I want to see but if it’s my time I am not afraid.
I told my daughter about the biopsy and I also told granddaughter but I didn’t want to worry my granddaughter so I made light of it just so she would not worry about me .
And I made sure I told her because even though she is 19 ,I wanted to be the person telling her. And I will tell her when the results are in.
God bless her I have the best granddaughter on the planet we text every day and face time as often as we can.
I am so blessed to have her in my life.
How many people can say they talk to their granddaughter who is in college and works daily, text multiple times daily.
She is awesome and she is my main reason to fight like hell if my outcome wasn’t so good.
Her and I have places to see many lunches to have together. And we’re planning on going fishing just her and I.
My husband told his mom and sister.
Thankfully I have a few women friends in my life that I can tell anything to.
I am blessed to have them and what’s crazy is none of us live in the same city.
But we are always there for each other.
I didn’t tell others in my family because my cousins already had their own issues to deal with.
And honestly some people in my family could care less. You know the kind who are nice to your face then talk about you as your walking out the door.
My sister in law and mother in law asked my husband almost daily did I hear anything. And the answer was no.
Well I got a bit concerned by August 29 as I never heard anything yet. Surely if it was cancer they’d call me …..right?
So I called the doctors office and they said it was sent to an oncology lab in Tennessee to verify results.
For a moment my heart sunk.
So I called the hospital and asked for a copy of my medical records.
They said sure come pick them up anytime.
So 30 August 2018 I did just that.
Got in the car talked to God on my way there.
Sang my song as best as I could and as loud as I could and arrived at the hospital
Went in got the paper work.
But I sealed the envelope and told god I will open it when I feel the need to.
Or wait until my appointment 05 September 2018.
In between all this my 1st cousin who I always called uncle passed away.
And a couple of my 2nd cousins have their own health issues. Plus it was their dad that was ill also so I wasn’t going to talk about it with them. I was concerned for my cousins, I know what it’s like to worry about losing your dad.
So I have to remain calm.
Saturday Sept 1 my family member passed away.
And the funeral was going to be the same day I am to get results.
So do I cancel and reschedule?
No this is important
So I go to the doctors office and wait for it to open so I can be seen 1st.
Thankfully I got in 1st.
Seemed like a long wait.
Finally the doctor comes in
Thank you Jesus.
I felt this huge relief just lift off me.
The doctor said he doesn’t usually see mars like mine that end up being benign so it’s pretty rare.
I am so grateful.
And I give all the glory to God.
And all those that did know and prayed for me thank you.
I love you.