I see so many people today losing who they are in relationships. So much so you cannot even recognize the person they once were.
How do you find the balance between giving to your partner and holding onto yourself in the process?
Here’s a list of a few ways to date someone you’re really, really into without losing yourself. And don’t try to change someone else to suit your cookie cutter idea of the perfect mate…..
And NEVER settle for someone who talks to you with disrespect or calls you names. You deserve better.
1. Do Spend time with family without your partner. Your family and friends love you and maybe you haven’t spent some quality time with them lately , go have dinner with mom , dad, or an aunt or grandma, grandpa. Take them to a movie. Show them how much you love and appreciate them.
2. Do Identify hobbies and interests that you don’t share — and keep doing them. You and your significant other are not going to enjoy all the same activities.
Don’t stop nurturing your pottery skills just because your partner doesn’t especially love ceramics. It’s important to support each other’s interests — even and maybe especially when they aren’t shared. You may live the gym and your partner may like it dislike the gym, thats’s ok too.
3. Do Map out plans for your future irrespective of your significant other. It’s fine to make plans with your partner and even discuss a possible future together, but it’s just as important to establish for yourself what you want out of your life and career and work toward the things you want in your personal life. Spend some time charting short-term and long-term goals that have nothing to do with your significant other.
4. Do Remember that you don’t have to experience everything with him or her. That movie you’ve been looking forward to is finally coming out? A friend in another city invited you to visit for a weekend? Have a chance to go skydiving for the first time? It’s tempting to invite your partner to come along, but realize that you don’t need to experience these things with him or her, especially if it’s something you’ve been wanting to do since long before you met. It’s okay to enjoy them by yourself or with friends — you’re not required to share. Spend time a part is healthy. Don’t suffocate a relationship and don’t allow anyone to suffocate you.
9. Don’t Go immediately from one relationship to another. We all know that person who never seems to take any time for herself between breakups to grieve, mend and remember who she or he is independent of the person who was such a huge part of their lives for however long. Don’t use relationships as an excuse to never focus on yourself, your flaws or your personal growth. It sounds schlocky, but liking who you are is important. If you don’t, it’s worth working on a) being kinder to yourself and b) becoming a person you love. The fact that someone else loves you doesn’t rescue you from the project of loving yourself.
10. Don’t Neglect other important relationships. If you have plans with family or your friends, don’t flake last minute to stay in with your significant other. A good relationship will definitely withstand you taking the time to honor commitments to people outside it. And remember family is always there for you. So don’t neglect them.
11. Don’t Let the status of your relationship affect your whole outlook. It’s never fun or easy when you and your partner fight, but do your best to compartmentalize. The less you let what’s going on in your relationship affect your work, friendships and interaction with family, the better. If the state of your relationship entirely determines your mood, then you are probably too consumed by it.
12. Don’t Let your significant other suddenly start changing you. If you always worn pink lipstick 👄 suddenly they don’t want you to wear it, or make up, or they don’t want you to cut your hair this is not acceptable in any relationship.
13. Don’t Let anyone verbally become abusive to you, causing you self doubt or causing you to feel bad or less of yourself. And make sure you don’t treat others that way either.
14. Don’t go drowning your sorrows or problems with alcohol or drugs. That won’t solve a thing , in fact it just make you depressed and thinking unclear.
A great song
I heard this song on CMA’s last night and loved it.
I retired my red lipstick ’cause you said you didn’t like it
I didn’t wear my high heel shoes
‘Cause I couldn’t be taller than you
I didn’t wanna lose my friends, but now it’s hard to even find them
It’s what you wanted, ain’t it?
It’s what you wanted
I thought I’d miss you (when it ended)
I thought it hurt me (but it didn’t)
I thought I’d miss you
I thought I’d miss you
But I miss me more
I miss my own beat, to my own snare drum
I miss me more
Miss my own sheets in the bed I made up
I forgot I had dreams, I forgot I had wings
Forgot who I was before I ever kissed you
Yeah, I thought I’d miss you
But I miss me more (I miss me more)
I put on my old records that I hid in the back of the closet
And I turn them up to ten
And then I played them all again