Posted in Awareness

Holidays Without Mom Dad or Both

Holidays without a mother father or both.

My mom has been gone for almost 20 years now. And 31 years without my father

I’ve gone through a lot of firsts without my parents

I have survived the 2 times that didn’t even seem imaginable the death of my mom and dad

My mom and dad loved all holidays but especially Christmas .

The baking and shopping decorating and cooking wrapping presents entertaining she loved it all. And she was good at it. She made it all look so easy.

My dad was a shopper and a wrapper and he always remembered to help and donate his time and money and volunteer in our community .

His project was helping the homeless and the working poor the people who struggled to eat or buy their medication is who he wanted to help.

He was not a rich man but lived a rich life and I knew I was loved.

He was a truly great man and human being.

When the holidays roll around I feel the absence of my mother and father.

I can hear my dad singing still.And I smell moms perfume and dads cologne.

If you’ve lost a parent or both , I bet you do too.

Sometimes, the absence feels like a dull empty feeling .

Things that were once bright and exciting, like putting up the Christmas decorations, can feel muffled. But it had gotten easier over the years.

For the first couple years , the pain of missing my mother especially felt so intense it felt as like I was just slammed and punched in the gut not able to breathe.

But I did muddle through, the way we all do with our lives and longings. The way you have to do when a person you love deeply isn’t there to fill their place at the holiday table.

If you’re missing your special person this holiday season, please know I understand . And I am truly sorry for your loss. And it was a great loss.

It’s OK to feel a bit deflated. It’s OK to feel an ache. Just don’t let that consume you.

You will laugh and celebrate the holidays again when you’re ready.

Just try not to get in that grief rut.

And when you’re ready you can think about what kinds of traditions you want going forward.

You can decide when the time is right to begin them.

And if you feel like that little boy or girl at the day care, crying for his mom

You are not alone

I understand you.

I am you.

I was you

A lot of us are.

Author:

The body always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is listening and doing what your body needs. I was diagnosed with Osteoarthritis in 2012, Avascular Necrosis aka Osteonecrosis in my knee in 2014 and Factor V Leiden hetero, and Spondylolisthesis 2016 Health Advocate-Health Activist-World Changer Love photography, cooking, hiking, walking ,traveling and learning to live a new normal since my diagnosis. My Links Facebook Main Profile https://www.facebook.com/debbie.briglovichandio Main Blog www.ChronicallyGratefulDebla.com Twitter - https://twitter.com/debbiea001 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/debbiea_1962 and https://www.instagram.com/chronicallygratefulme Support Group Avascular Necrosis/Osteonecrosis Support Int’l https://m.facebook.com/groups/DeadBoneDiseaseAvn Awareness for Avascular Necrosis & Other Conditions of The Bone and Joints https://www.facebook.com/AvascularNecrosisAndBoneDiseaseAwareness/ Avascular Necrosis Awareness Day November 29 – working with elected officials to get this recognized in all states https://www.facebook.com/AwarenessByDebla/ Avascular Necrosis-Osteonecrosis Knowledge and Education https://www.facebook.com/AvascularNecrosisEducation/ Facebook Link https://m.facebook.com/ChronicallyGrateful.Me/

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