Posted in Awareness

I Respect Valerie Bertinelli- Because She Faced Her Hater

I was so sad to see the rudeness of some people saying that Valerie Bertinelli gained weight-needed to lose weight etc…

You would think by now we would be past the days when a woman’s body was her ownand not be subjected to trolls and ridicule but no sadly we are not. Some feel the need to comment on, judge, shame others for how they look how small or big they are.

They are the exact reason why so many women young women and little girls and boy and grown men have a complex and isn’t it time we just stop and mind our own damn business!!

Do people follow others just to be rude and shame them?

Have they nothing better to do with their sad little lives than pick on others?

We can always hope that some day people will just be kind and remember if you dont have anything nice to say , then just be quiet.

This week Valerie Bertinelli, who, thanks to the internet, has become the latest victim to the trolls .

Who are we as a society to feel the need to constantly criticize and give advice, opinions especially unsolicited advice to others.

Did this person that commented on her weight not realize that she may be struggling in some way? I believed she helped to take care of her mom until she passed away and then buried her mom in 2019 and then her ex husband , friend and father to her son Eddie Van Halen died in 2020. That is a lot of sadness and loss in a short amount of time. Trying to be strong for her family and for the public and paparazzi is not easy I’m sure. Grief and Sadness can take its toll and everyone processes things differently and its not our job to point out others flaws.

I understand exactly where she is coming from. And I applaud her for sticking up for herself. I appreciate when she said when she sees someone that has gained weight- she feels as if they are going through something.

Matthew 7 :: NIV. “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

John 13:34 says So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.

Why cant we just be kind? Is being hateful and angry that easy ? but to be kind is it really that hard? or are we just so full of ourselves we cannot see that we are hurting someone else’s feelings.

I love what Valerie said – ” when you see someone that put some weight on , they must be going through some things”

She is so right…… being fat and being thin and then fat again I can tell you I never wanted to get fat…I didnt enjoy being fat, its no easy to just lose weight. So I get where she is coming from.

My first marriage was abusive-I ate to bury my feelings of self ;loathe , shame, sadness, I was mentally and physically as well as financially abused in my 1st marriage, so I felt like a failure,and unworthy of love. I mean if the person who says they love you beats you and is mentally cruel to you it must me me right??? WRONG, but I took me years to recognize this and get out. Point is I was going through something and ate my feelings. When I went to my church for guidance I was shamed for wanting a divorce….and shamed by others for staying.

My dad died in 1988 I was 25, we were close. The first man I ever loved and he was a great man, a really good dad. My dad the man I loved , argued with, got advice from, is now gone from my life forever. My mother was lost with out him. They were sweethearts from a young age and my dad died at 56.

I now had to step up and help take over the books by managing and balancing the books of the small family magazine business my parents had; at least until my mom decided what to do with it. on top of going through a long dragged out divorce. So I again stuffed my feelings. I didnt gain weight but I did eat my feelings. My mom sold the 3 story 4 bedroom home and wanted to go live in an apartment asked if I was ok with that or did I want the house,

I wanted what was best for her, sell the house so her and my gram could have less expenses. I would have liked to see her go to a smaller home, but I understand why she did this…it was cheaper to go to an all utilities included apartment, sell the house and lower all her expenses

1998-1999 the years of diagnosis for me, my hypothyroidism is now Hashimoto Thyroiditis and add osteoarthritis in my knees , right hand and arthritis in my left hand right wrist back…all this and under 40

2000 my mom suddenly passed away and I was stuck to go through 60 plus years of paperwork, figuring out what to do with her things like sofa, chars, clothes etc….while my FT job harassed me to get back to work after my 3 day bereavement, I asked if I could take my vacation to take care of all her things etc…. was told no, again explained the situation I’m an only child, no help have limited time or I will need to pay her rent for February as she passed away January 26.2000. Again was told no. In fact I was told to turn n my management keys if I wasn’t back buy January 30,2000.

So I said screw it, turned in my keys and filed a complaint with corporate and filed for unemployment and I won. But again all that stress and extra stress was followed by eating to bury my feeling, while I buried my mother. Over 1 year I gained 19 lbs.

In 2001 I was rear ended while at a stop sign hit and pushed into the car in front of me that was also stopped. I had neack and shoulder injuries that kept me in pain, and unable to work. I ate my feelings and yep gained about 45 lbs in 2 years on top of the 19 I gained when my mom died.-64 lbs is a lot on someone 5’1. After I had my shoulder repaired, i tried to lose weight……not happening. I tried for years didn’t gain and lost the same 15 lbs over and over.

Time passed I got used to being fat and felt horrible about it everyday, my husband never said anything bad to me but i always wondered what was he thinking his once 110 lb wife now 180 lb. you will rarely see me in photos in fact try to find one of me from 2005 until 2018… it will be rare and only for certain people.

2013 i tried again to lose weight started exercising, it was hard on all my bones, I was actually dropping a few lbs exercising to videos and walking, I felt this sudden stabbing hot poker pain in my right knee, it almost took me to the floor…..called my doctor had to stay off feet for a couple weeks and then mri shown I tore my medial meniscus and besides that and osteoarthritis I can add osteonecrosis in the right knee as well.

COME ON ALREADY…….will this shit ever end!!! I lose 15 lbs and then get injured and yep……you guessed it gained it back plus 15 more….

now in 2017 I am the biggest I have ever been 291 lbs

You see people are not wanting to be fat…… as Valerie stated people are usually going through something

I am trying to lose weight and have lost about 80-90 lbs over 3 years….but I still have a way to go and it is NOT easy……

So please when you see someone fat or thick or too skinny dont judge them and please dont tell them what they need……..WE KNOW

Author:

The body always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is listening and doing what your body needs. I was diagnosed with Osteoarthritis in 2012, Avascular Necrosis aka Osteonecrosis in my knee in 2014 and Factor V Leiden hetero, and Spondylolisthesis 2016 Health Advocate-Health Activist-World Changer Love photography, cooking, hiking, walking ,traveling and learning to live a new normal since my diagnosis. My Links Facebook Main Profile https://www.facebook.com/debbie.briglovichandio Main Blog www.ChronicallyGratefulDebla.com Twitter - https://twitter.com/debbiea001 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/debbiea_1962 and https://www.instagram.com/chronicallygratefulme Support Group Avascular Necrosis/Osteonecrosis Support Int’l https://m.facebook.com/groups/DeadBoneDiseaseAvn Awareness for Avascular Necrosis & Other Conditions of The Bone and Joints https://www.facebook.com/AvascularNecrosisAndBoneDiseaseAwareness/ Avascular Necrosis Awareness Day November 29 – working with elected officials to get this recognized in all states https://www.facebook.com/AwarenessByDebla/ Avascular Necrosis-Osteonecrosis Knowledge and Education https://www.facebook.com/AvascularNecrosisEducation/ Facebook Link https://m.facebook.com/ChronicallyGrateful.Me/

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