Posted in Awareness

Isolation Is Normal For Many Disabled

All around the world, governments placed their citizens into various forms of lock-down as the COVID19 virus spread fast throughout the world.

Suddenly, and for the first time in a very long time, huge populations are coming face to face with a feeling of what its like being excluded from normal life and a sense of isolation, as individuals with the virus, and those in their households, are quarantined in homes and hospitals.

Many asked to remain home unless its essential to out, many workers are now laid off. This is devastating and at times depressing for so many, but what many don’t realize is this sense of isolation and detachment from “normal” life isn’t a temporary phase for many disabled.

They aren’t waiting out the lockdown for normality to resume. For a large percentage of the population, including the elderly and many of the 1.3 billion people living with a disability from child to adult worldwide, this daily experience of isolation and exclusion is unfortunately the norm.

Many of those living with a disability will not be able to go back to “business as usual” after the pandemic has cleared:

This is their usual. But their usual must change with this pandemic, because for far too long, people living with a disability have been excluded from daily life.

If suddenly many can work from home why cannot the disabled? Many companies snarled at employees working from home often leaving those immune compromised or the disabled just out of luck when wanting to remain in the workforce.

And right now, amid this pandemic, we must not forget the specific needs of people with disabilities. In 2020, it is deeply worrying that, once again, in a time of crisis, I see many cases where the specific needs of the disability community are being overlooked. As we design systems for the future, it is important we do not repeat the wrongs of the past – or the present crisis.

Example : Many disabled use at home delivery grocery services regulary- once this pandemic started suddenly disabled could not rely on logging in to get groceries in a couple days: sometimes all the slots were taken for up to 2 weeks.

Noone made any special accommodations for them or seen that their needs were met.

Same with the extra unemployment check stimulus many received not just their standard unemployment you not just got unemployment you they received an extra 600.00 a week or every two weeks: Yet the disabled who get a mear 450.00 to 1300.00 a month received nothing else weekly or monthly. Many said they made more on unemployment than working because of that extra kick . Yet again the disabled are left out.

Thankfully, everyone did receive the 1200.00 stimulus as a one time help which was appreciated.

 

But the disabled still in the long run got screwed, often they seem to be overlooked, the government could have put an extra 600.00 a month or more in their account like they did those who were unemployed getting it a week.

I noticed there were no sales, so everything cost more except gas for the car. Food prices were up, and good luck finding many needed household items.

Right now, we must not forget the specific needs of people with disabilities. In 2020, it is deeply worrying that, once again, in a time of crisis, I see many cases where the specific needs of the disability community are being overlooked.

As we design systems for the future, it is important we do not repeat the wrongs of the past – or the present crisis.

There is a business incentive to recognize the value of the market of those living with a disability, but there is an even stronger moral and societal imperative that this exclusion ends now.

The majority of people have now experienced what mass social exclusion feels like, and we cannot “unknow” what we know about how it feels to be isolated.

We now all know the pain of isolation and exclusion , unable to see family, friends, coworkers, classmates as we plan for our future, we must insist on no one being left behind.

 

 

 

Posted in Life

Don’t Get Lost In A Relationship

I see so many people today losing who they are in relationships. So much so you cannot even recognize the person they once were.

How do you find the balance between giving to your partner and holding onto yourself in the process?

Here’s a list of a few ways to date someone you’re really, really into without losing yourself. And don’t try to change someone else to suit your cookie cutter idea of the perfect mate…..

And NEVER settle for someone who talks to you with disrespect or calls you names. You deserve better.

1. Do Spend time with family without your partner. Your family and friends love you and maybe you haven’t spent some quality time with them lately , go have dinner with mom , dad, or an aunt or grandma, grandpa. Take them to a movie. Show them how much you love and appreciate them.

2. Do Identify hobbies and interests that you don’t share — and keep doing them. You and your significant other are not going to enjoy all the same activities.

Don’t stop nurturing your pottery skills just because your partner doesn’t especially love ceramics. It’s important to support each other’s interests — even and maybe especially when they aren’t shared. You may live the gym and your partner may like it dislike the gym, thats’s ok too.

3. Do Map out plans for your future irrespective of your significant other. It’s fine to make plans with your partner and even discuss a possible future together, but it’s just as important to establish for yourself what you want out of your life and career and work toward the things you want in your personal life. Spend some time charting short-term and long-term goals that have nothing to do with your significant other.

4. Do Remember that you don’t have to experience everything with him or her. That movie you’ve been looking forward to is finally coming out? A friend in another city invited you to visit for a weekend? Have a chance to go skydiving for the first time? It’s tempting to invite your partner to come along, but realize that you don’t need to experience these things with him or her, especially if it’s something you’ve been wanting to do since long before you met. It’s okay to enjoy them by yourself or with friends — you’re not required to share. Spend time a part is healthy. Don’t suffocate a relationship and don’t allow anyone to suffocate you.

5. Don’t Become too dependent. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re off the hook when it comes to taking care of yourself and your own feelings. It’s easy to look to your partner to shelter you from the world and distract you when everything else makes you want to crawl into a hole, but continue to fight your own battles. It’s nice to have someone who wants to comfort you, and it’s perfectly all right to let him or her, but make sure you don’t “need “it.

6. Don’t talk about your relationship nonstop. You do not want to be the person who brings every conversation with friends back to the time your partner said this or did that. Chances are you saw, talked to, texted, Skyped FaceTime with,Your time with friends and family is an opportunity to discuss other things.

7. Don’t talk to each other all the time. If you’re in constant contact with your partner throughout the day, what are you going to talk about when you actually see each other? Leave some topics for when you meet up for dinner or come back home to each other or talk on the phone at night. Also, you can’t live your own life if you’re always talking to someone else.

8. Don’t Depend on the other person to complete you. “Jerry Maguire” was a movie. Fiction. In reality, your partner should make you happy, not make you whole.

9. Don’t Go immediately from one relationship to another. We all know that person who never seems to take any time for herself between breakups to grieve, mend and remember who she or he is independent of the person who was such a huge part of their lives for however long. Don’t use relationships as an excuse to never focus on yourself, your flaws or your personal growth. It sounds schlocky, but liking who you are is important. If you don’t, it’s worth working on a) being kinder to yourself and b) becoming a person you love. The fact that someone else loves you doesn’t rescue you from the project of loving yourself.

10. Don’t Neglect other important relationships. If you have plans with family or your friends, don’t flake last minute to stay in with your significant other. A good relationship will definitely withstand you taking the time to honor commitments to people outside it. And remember family is always there for you. So don’t neglect them.

11. Don’t Let the status of your relationship affect your whole outlook. It’s never fun or easy when you and your partner fight, but do your best to compartmentalize. The less you let what’s going on in your relationship affect your work, friendships and interaction with family, the better. If the state of your relationship entirely determines your mood, then you are probably too consumed by it.

12. Don’t Let your significant other suddenly start changing you. If you always worn pink lipstick 👄 suddenly they don’t want you to wear it, or make up, or they don’t want you to cut your hair this is not acceptable in any relationship.

13. Don’t Let anyone verbally become abusive to you, causing you self doubt or causing you to feel bad or less of yourself. And make sure you don’t treat others that way either.

14. Don’t go drowning your sorrows or problems with alcohol or drugs. That won’t solve a thing , in fact it just make you depressed and thinking unclear.

A great song

I heard this song on CMA’s last night and loved it.

Song : Miss Me More

Song by Kelsea Ballerini and lyrics.

I retired my red lipstick ’cause you said you didn’t like it

I didn’t wear my high heel shoes

‘Cause I couldn’t be taller than you

I didn’t wanna lose my friends, but now it’s hard to even find them

It’s what you wanted, ain’t it?

It’s what you wanted

I thought I’d miss you (when it ended)

I thought it hurt me (but it didn’t)

I thought I’d miss you

I thought I’d miss you

But I miss me more

I miss my own beat, to my own snare drum

I miss me more

Miss my own sheets in the bed I made up

I forgot I had dreams, I forgot I had wings

Forgot who I was before I ever kissed you

Yeah, I thought I’d miss you

But I miss me more (I miss me more)

I put on my old records that I hid in the back of the closet

And I turn them up to ten

And then I played them all again

I found…

Posted in Avascular Necrosis, Awareness, Cancer, Chronic Pain, Help Others, Suffering, Uncategorized

The Disconnection to Those suffering

The Disconnection to Those suffering
So many  are disconnected from the pain, suffering that other chronically ill people feelcompassion

If more humans were able to open their heart and feel the pain of other people,not question it, but learn from it I believe the world would be a better, happier, more loving place.

We maybe would even have less,  tragedies less bullying less killing. , maybe learn to understand and accept people ,like the chronically ill man, woman or child, that suffers in pain every single day,their bodies no longer working with them but against them.

Some disabilities are not visible to others.

Simple tasks for you may be impossible for someone with a debilitating disease like Osteonecrosis, Lupus, MS, Breast Implant Illness,Cancer,

And let’s not forget about the pain of the battered woman, abused children,the loss of a spouse, parent or child, the killing of gay people in Orlando, the massacre of kids in school or police officers, black lives, white lives, brown lives , yellow lives, all lives matter.The homeless, those being bullied.

The pain numerous casualties of soldiers and civilians in war, the people who get bullied to the point they feel death is the only way to stop being bullied,the people who are lost and looking for something as a means to escape, instead of turning to God , prayer or a higher power they turn to drugs, alcohol as a means to escape

There is a lot it seems to cry about.
We all have pain in some way
It’s time we stop all the hate and start helping our brothers and sisters

people

Open your heart to feel another person’s pain, love them , try to understand them whether they are disabled or not, let’s not forget that not all disabilities are visible.
So before you go complaining about a woman parked in a handicap space that looks “well”
Just stop and think maybe she really is in pain and just trying to live her best life possible.

We all will experience some form of pain and loss and suffering in our life, its how we react to others now suffering
But regardless of creed, nationality, race, religion, sexuality. You don’t have to agree with their  point  of view but learn to be respectful, respect that we are all human beings and we all will suffer at some point in our life.

Song Of The Day  “People Help The People” by Cherry Ghost performed by Birdy from her self titled debut album.

 

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